Remember those good old times when we were all still little kiddies? We used to treat everything that happened around us as a game of sorts, regardless of whether they were good or bad. And how could we not? Society did not have its grip of tight schedules, rote learning and teaching us to follow the flow on us at the time, so out imagination ran wild and free. Well, here's my attempt to relive those moments and make 5 areas of my life into games. Here we go.
I call Game Number 1 "Bus Fuss". Basically, it's a reaction game. Here I am waiting at the bus stop and there's a specific bus number that I need to flag. At the starting part of this game, the buses that go past the bus stop are slow and their numbers are quite brightly lit. The objective is to press a button (Spacebar, A button, X button, in the case that any console would be crazy enough to get this game on their platform) when the correct bus comes along, and success leads to the advancing of stages. With each stage, the buses move faster, their numbers are more similar, their signs are less brightly lit etc, therefore increasing the difficulty level. Flagging down the wrong bus 3 times ends the game.
Game Number 2 is called "Friend Finder". No, not that feature on Facebook. Here I am in a crowded shopping mall trying to find my friends to hang out. Every stage provides the player a general description of the friend that I need to find. Is the friend short/tall, chubby/skinny, a guy/girl? What clothes are they wearing? What kind of hair are they sporting? The player must scrutinize all the people in the stage and click on the person that fits the description. A quicker discovery of the person earns more points. With each stage, the total number of people in the stage increases and start to look more alike to confuse the player. The player will also need to find an increasing number of friends per stage.
Game Number 3 is coined "Hair Scare". As some people may know, my hair is incredibly important to me, sometimes taking precedence over my life. Here I am walking along the street minding my own business, when suddenly evil floating hair-destroying items assault my hair. The player controls my head as it moves in a side-scrolling fashion. The objective of the game is to move my head to dodge incoming items such as straight-hair shampoo, scissors, shavers, combs and the like. Each time my hair is hit, it becomes noticeably shorter and straighter. The game ends when my hair becomes completely straight and short. With each avoidance of an item, the incoming items move faster and deal more damage to my precious hair if collisions occur.
"Quiet Quest" is what I named Game Number 4. Here I am in the library, bored as hell. I decide to whip out my trusty PSP for some game time, but the librarian is out and about. The objective of this game is to fill up a "Fun Meter" by holding down the correct button to make me play the PSP, but the player must release the button to make me stop when the librarian's line of vision is on me. I can move about around the level (which will be viewed in a bird's eye view), but so can the librarian. If the librarian catches me playing, the stage is restarted. Difficulty increases with stage advancement as more librarians are added, the field of vision of the librarians are wider and greater, and they move faster as well.
"Ramen Race" is Game Number 5. Here I am, working my butt off at a ramen restaurant and it just so happens that I am the only service staff there. This game takes inspiration from the renowned Diner Dash, where I seat customers, take their orders, deliver their orders, serve their food, clear their bowls and take their bills. At the first level, business is slow and customers come in one by one and give simple orders. As the levels advance, the orders get more complicated, people get more impatient and families with elderly and even children start to appear. The elderly slow me down by taking a long time to order, and the children provide distractions such as spilling their food and running about, which takes away my time to clean up after them and avoid them. Soon, the Japanese come in and give their orders in pure Japanese, which requires the player to memorize the exact translations of the menu choices. The stage is failed when not enough cash is collected at the end of the day.
In a way, everybody is playing a game already. It's called Life and it's pretty hard to win. Go to school, get some knowledge, earn some cash, start some companies, find a spouse, have some babies, grow old well, pass away peacefully. Jeez, I'm still at the first stage and I'm already afraid of the later stages. Just gotta remind myself not to "quit"...if you know what I mean.
Sunday 15 May 2011
Sunday 8 May 2011
Fable 2: A Disappointment
"What's that? This guy is saying that Fable 2 sucks? BLASPHEMY!!! DIE, NON-BELIEVER!!!!!!!111!!" is what some people might say on Fable 2 naysayers such as me. But, nothing is without reason, and now, I shall go on to tell you gamers out there why Fable 2 was a disappointment for me.
First off, I'll tell you about some of the saving graces of this game. I liked the continuity, in the sense that Fable 2 retained old characters from Fable 1, such as Theresa (below), who is actually the blind sister of the protagonist in the first game but returns in the second game as a mentor and guide. I feel that this would make players of Fable 1 more comfortable with Fable 2's storyline and background of such characters and definitely help them understand what's going on.
I liked how the many characters in Fable 2 were uniquely designed and portrayed through their clothing, colours and even in mundane things such as the way they walked or talked when the main character encounters them. Look at the picture I included below. It's clear which of the characters walk the noble side of life, and which of them who thieve, kill and commit crimes. The characters were, I felt, the main factors that added the most variety to this game, which, as a Role-playing game, is supposed to have just that: variety.
The game also gives you the freedom to do things that are unacceptable in today's world and STILL get away with it, such as making your male character dress in drag and strut his stuff, pointing the finger at passerby's and then farting in their faces, go on a 3 month mead binge or just start a mindless rampage and slaughter everyone in town, including the beggars. The possibilities are endless. Literally. Also, depending on the morality of your actions, the appearance of your character changes. Do good deeds and you'll be the living embodiment of angels. Do bad deeds though, and you'll sprout horns and blood-red eyes. And your appearance adversely affects the reactions of the people who see you.
Let's not forget the graphics. The environments, characters, weapons and clothing are wonderfully coloured and rendered. They're vibrant, interesting AND believable, especially the clothing. The general theme of Fable 2 was, I believe, the semi-Victorian age and the apparel in the game portrayed it beautifully. Movements of the characters and interaction of the player with the environment was good. Need to get to the bottom of a hill? Just approach the edge and hit the A button to slide down. Need to get past a fence but you (somehow) can't find the gate? Just press A to vault over it like a boss. Very fluid motions and pleasing aesthetics are always a welcome bonus to any game.
Now comes the rant.
Fable 2's storyline was, I felt, overly-used and very typical of a hero story. The game starts you off as a poor street urchin, living in a dilapidated shack with his/her older sister, scavenging enough food and warmth just to get by each day. You find this enchanted music box and suddenly is summoned by the Count of your town, Lucien Fairfax. It turns out that (surprise, surprise!) he wants your magical box that plays music and proceeds to shoot your sister and throw you off his tower. As if being poor wasn't enough. Anyway, the main character swears revenge on Lucien, meets the mysterious-stranger-who-would-later-help-you-succeed-in-your-quest, Theresa. She tells you that the only way to stop Lucien and his quest for immortality by somehow using that blasted music box is to make three Heroes join you; a Warrior named Hammer, a Mage named Garth and a Thief named Reaver. Warrior, Mage and Thief. Hmm. Now where did I see that before....? Oh yes, NOW I remember. In almost every damned RPG to date. How refreshing.
Next, the combat system. Calling it a "system" was a self-parody. It's very simple actually. See a bad guy, walk up to him, spam the Y button. That's it. He'll go down in no time, regardless of whether you picked your weapon up from Rust'R'Us or from the pure depths of awesome-ness. And how can he not? After all, every attack you do that lands on the enemy staggers him, allowing you to continue your onslaught with ease. And if that doesn't work, why not just blast him to oblivion with your magical spells that DON'T REQUIRE ANY MANA? Yes, you read that part correctly. No mana whatsoever is needed to cast the spells in Fable 2, including sick spells like Time-stop and Vortex. Happy day. And if swords and spells aren't your thing, why don't you try shooting the bastards instead? Ranged weapons are back and sicker than ever. So, yeah. Virtually unstoppable are the words to describe Fable 2's hero. Really now. Where's the challenge?!
The items in the game were, at the most, insignificant. Who needs potions when you can stop time? Who needs a shiny new sword when you can just bludgeon a guy to death with a blunt one? Although as I said before, the clothing and equipment look good on the character, they serve absolutely no purpose at all! No damage or defence bonuses, no extra perks like running or reloading faster, nothing. Sure, you just got a shiny, colourful new pencil. But after all that, it's STILL a freaking pencil. And the item-finding system is just crap. You have to trek around aimlessly for "treasure" chests that (most of the time) contain absolute rubbish. Imagine discovering a treasure chest after some hard searching only to find a condom in it. (Yes, you CAN do the nasty in Fable 2, but you don't actually see anything. And yes, you CAN contract some nasty diseases from it in the game.) Who puts a condom in a treasure chest? Honestly.
The side-missions and minigames in Fable 2 are, to put it bluntly, a lame joke. To earn gold in order to buy essential and valuable items such as condoms, you have to put your hero through "gruelling", manly jobs such as chopping firewood and forging swords. Before you ask whether a Kinect is needed for these activities, fret not. Basically, a "job" requires you to time your A button presses as a moving sphere enters a green area in a meter (see below for a rough idea). How gruelling. And the payout is the same for all the jobs in the game is the same. Yes, in this game, serving beer earns you the same amount of money as forging swords. Make sense? Oh yes, the side-quests are severely repetitive and mind-numbingly boring. Kill the slavers, rescue the slaves, hunt some beasts and what's next? Killing slavers. Whoopee.
The ending of Fable 2 was left me speechless. No, not in the good way. It was more along the lines of "So I spent $69.90 for this game, spent at least 10 hours of my life wading through it, and this is how it ends. Hmm. I could think of a million different ways to spend that amount of money and time that would be infinitely better than this crap." Just...take a look for yourself.
So, the conclusion. I don't understand the hype about Fable 2. Note the word "don't". It means I didn't, and I STILL do not. Sure, the graphics are great, the characters are nicely made and there is great world-character interaction. But repetitive game-play, stupidly boring side missions, unbalanced weapons and spell casting and just an overall weak storyline held this game back when it had the potential to be so much more. My advice? Don't buy it. Ever. Just rent it, play through it while having a laugh, then return it.
I foresee a future review on Fable 3. Hopefully it'll be good this time.
First off, I'll tell you about some of the saving graces of this game. I liked the continuity, in the sense that Fable 2 retained old characters from Fable 1, such as Theresa (below), who is actually the blind sister of the protagonist in the first game but returns in the second game as a mentor and guide. I feel that this would make players of Fable 1 more comfortable with Fable 2's storyline and background of such characters and definitely help them understand what's going on.
 |
| Theresa in Fable |
 |
| Theresa in Fable 2 |
I liked how the many characters in Fable 2 were uniquely designed and portrayed through their clothing, colours and even in mundane things such as the way they walked or talked when the main character encounters them. Look at the picture I included below. It's clear which of the characters walk the noble side of life, and which of them who thieve, kill and commit crimes. The characters were, I felt, the main factors that added the most variety to this game, which, as a Role-playing game, is supposed to have just that: variety.
 |
| Guess who's gonna treat you dinner, and who's gonna take it from you? |
The game also gives you the freedom to do things that are unacceptable in today's world and STILL get away with it, such as making your male character dress in drag and strut his stuff, pointing the finger at passerby's and then farting in their faces, go on a 3 month mead binge or just start a mindless rampage and slaughter everyone in town, including the beggars. The possibilities are endless. Literally. Also, depending on the morality of your actions, the appearance of your character changes. Do good deeds and you'll be the living embodiment of angels. Do bad deeds though, and you'll sprout horns and blood-red eyes. And your appearance adversely affects the reactions of the people who see you.
 |
| A good but corrupt male and an evil but pure female. The Logicbomb goes boom. |
Let's not forget the graphics. The environments, characters, weapons and clothing are wonderfully coloured and rendered. They're vibrant, interesting AND believable, especially the clothing. The general theme of Fable 2 was, I believe, the semi-Victorian age and the apparel in the game portrayed it beautifully. Movements of the characters and interaction of the player with the environment was good. Need to get to the bottom of a hill? Just approach the edge and hit the A button to slide down. Need to get past a fence but you (somehow) can't find the gate? Just press A to vault over it like a boss. Very fluid motions and pleasing aesthetics are always a welcome bonus to any game.
 |
| Vault a fence...LIKE A BOSS! |
Now comes the rant.
Fable 2's storyline was, I felt, overly-used and very typical of a hero story. The game starts you off as a poor street urchin, living in a dilapidated shack with his/her older sister, scavenging enough food and warmth just to get by each day. You find this enchanted music box and suddenly is summoned by the Count of your town, Lucien Fairfax. It turns out that (surprise, surprise!) he wants your magical box that plays music and proceeds to shoot your sister and throw you off his tower. As if being poor wasn't enough. Anyway, the main character swears revenge on Lucien, meets the mysterious-stranger-who-would-later-help-you-succeed-in-your-quest, Theresa. She tells you that the only way to stop Lucien and his quest for immortality by somehow using that blasted music box is to make three Heroes join you; a Warrior named Hammer, a Mage named Garth and a Thief named Reaver. Warrior, Mage and Thief. Hmm. Now where did I see that before....? Oh yes, NOW I remember. In almost every damned RPG to date. How refreshing.
 |
| Hammer |
 |
| Garth |
 |
| Reaver |
Next, the combat system. Calling it a "system" was a self-parody. It's very simple actually. See a bad guy, walk up to him, spam the Y button. That's it. He'll go down in no time, regardless of whether you picked your weapon up from Rust'R'Us or from the pure depths of awesome-ness. And how can he not? After all, every attack you do that lands on the enemy staggers him, allowing you to continue your onslaught with ease. And if that doesn't work, why not just blast him to oblivion with your magical spells that DON'T REQUIRE ANY MANA? Yes, you read that part correctly. No mana whatsoever is needed to cast the spells in Fable 2, including sick spells like Time-stop and Vortex. Happy day. And if swords and spells aren't your thing, why don't you try shooting the bastards instead? Ranged weapons are back and sicker than ever. So, yeah. Virtually unstoppable are the words to describe Fable 2's hero. Really now. Where's the challenge?!
 |
| INFIDEL! YOU SHALL PAY FOR...oops, wrong game. |
 | |
| Feel free to stop time anytime you want. After all, it's free. |
The items in the game were, at the most, insignificant. Who needs potions when you can stop time? Who needs a shiny new sword when you can just bludgeon a guy to death with a blunt one? Although as I said before, the clothing and equipment look good on the character, they serve absolutely no purpose at all! No damage or defence bonuses, no extra perks like running or reloading faster, nothing. Sure, you just got a shiny, colourful new pencil. But after all that, it's STILL a freaking pencil. And the item-finding system is just crap. You have to trek around aimlessly for "treasure" chests that (most of the time) contain absolute rubbish. Imagine discovering a treasure chest after some hard searching only to find a condom in it. (Yes, you CAN do the nasty in Fable 2, but you don't actually see anything. And yes, you CAN contract some nasty diseases from it in the game.) Who puts a condom in a treasure chest? Honestly.
The side-missions and minigames in Fable 2 are, to put it bluntly, a lame joke. To earn gold in order to buy essential and valuable items such as condoms, you have to put your hero through "gruelling", manly jobs such as chopping firewood and forging swords. Before you ask whether a Kinect is needed for these activities, fret not. Basically, a "job" requires you to time your A button presses as a moving sphere enters a green area in a meter (see below for a rough idea). How gruelling. And the payout is the same for all the jobs in the game is the same. Yes, in this game, serving beer earns you the same amount of money as forging swords. Make sense? Oh yes, the side-quests are severely repetitive and mind-numbingly boring. Kill the slavers, rescue the slaves, hunt some beasts and what's next? Killing slavers. Whoopee.
 |
| Now THAT'S a hardcore job! |
The ending of Fable 2 was left me speechless. No, not in the good way. It was more along the lines of "So I spent $69.90 for this game, spent at least 10 hours of my life wading through it, and this is how it ends. Hmm. I could think of a million different ways to spend that amount of money and time that would be infinitely better than this crap." Just...take a look for yourself.
So, the conclusion. I don't understand the hype about Fable 2. Note the word "don't". It means I didn't, and I STILL do not. Sure, the graphics are great, the characters are nicely made and there is great world-character interaction. But repetitive game-play, stupidly boring side missions, unbalanced weapons and spell casting and just an overall weak storyline held this game back when it had the potential to be so much more. My advice? Don't buy it. Ever. Just rent it, play through it while having a laugh, then return it.
I foresee a future review on Fable 3. Hopefully it'll be good this time.
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